Updated: Jan 9
Today is the day I step into the process I've intended. I am going to more consciously and intentionally embody the teachings of shamanism, and identify more deeply as a nature being, each and every day beginning with today's New Moon.
I broke down my altar. It's time to start from scratch. I began to put things back on it, in a new way, and then remembered the importance of smudging the space the altar would be on. So I disassembled it, smudged, connected with the spirits of the directions and then re-set it up.
I began with the direction of the North. I asked the Spirits of the North to aid me in working with my darkness, especially the parts of me which are very wily and work hard to evade being seen. For me to step into my fullest self, I must be aware of each and every part of my shadow.
With the East, I asked the Spirits of the East in particular for their reminder when I need it most that there is light after the darkness, and that if and when I touch into despair, they remind me that the new dawn is coming.
When connecting with the Spirits of the South, I was clear with them that my intention is to expand into my fullest self, and asked for their support in helping me with that expansion. A sense of giddiness - immediately followed by some fear - arose with that prayer. I acknowledged the fear, restated that I fully trust myself, and noted that the fear of being me is not anchored in Truth.
With the West, I asked for the Spirits of the West to gently remind me to have gratitude for the journey (especially the challenges), and the wisdom that the hard work I put in during the other seasons will lead me to the greatest abundance and richest fruit.
I was clear with Mother Earth that I am here to connect with her, and my intention is to be very mindful of that over this next moon cycle. While I have the tendency to run to the spiritual stuff, and the fun lighthearted stuff, I told her I understand the importance of connecting with her first, and that lays the groundwork for fully connecting with myself.
Grounded in Mother Earth, I reached up to Great Mystery, reiterating that it is impossible for me to know it all. In my arrogance I often think I have things “figured out” and can then stop working, that is truly not possible. This is a forever process.
With space open, I set up my altar and read my intention aloud. “I choose to connect to all of who I am. I will meet all of me with love. I choose my soulful boldness, and will live my life from it.”
Lighting a candle over this prayer on my altar, I sat in front of the altar and did a shamanic journey.
I had originally intended to pull cards for myself for this next month, but chose not to. The cards would be telling me about the external energy, and having that would bring my focus unhealthfully to looking outside of myself. If my intention is to connect with all of me, I need to go within.
Intention: Connect with the spirit of the altar.
Closing my eyes, I was immediately drawn into the flame of the candle I had lit, as it expanded the energy of my spoken intention outwards. When exiting the journey, I could not recall all that had happened, but the connection between my heart and the heart of the altar strengthened with each beat of the drum. By the end of the journey, that connection felt incredibly strong, and one I am excited to return to in the coming days.
My shamanic healing guide, who I have felt but rarely seen, showed up at the end of the journey. He looked me right in the eye, and offered a nod of approval and support.